Single Life again.

soapscum · Post by **soapscum** » Jan 16 2005 04:08 pm

Just broke up with my girlfriend of 4+ yrs.....

so what is it single people do now days..... I have no interest in bars or meat market type places..... I shoudl probably focus on getting over the pain of the breakup before i do anything else.

Anyone have any good advice on how to get over it quicker?

being lied to really hurts. honesty hurts too sometimes, but not as much as being lied to.

Its painful to put yourself out there emotionally just to have your heart stepped on.

Preppy Raver · Post by **Preppy Raver** » Jan 16 2005 04:25 pm

sorry to see that you have had your heart broken. time heals all wounds though.

Stardust · Post by **Stardust** » Jan 16 2005 04:37 pm

Preppy Raver wrote:sorry to see that you have had your heart broken. time heals all wounds though.

exactly! Its been almost a year now since I ended a 5+ year relationship... time heals everything though, and you will realize in the end that everything happens for a reason, and hopefully you will be a happier person in the end!

allmightyone420 · Post by **allmightyone420** » Jan 16 2005 05:08 pm

Meditation....hobbies...friends...pot doesn't hurt....I don't know!

nobuhiro_223 · Post by **nobuhiro_223** » Jan 16 2005 05:19 pm

time. go out an meet some people don't go look for
an girl friend look for friends an good times, it will
suck for an bit (also if it is possable try to stay friends
i did this when me an my girl friend of 4 years broke up
were are still really good friends) asle i met 3 girls that
instead of being girl friends they became really good friends.

then 1 day u will meet anther girl that will be are u are looking
for.

christybomb · Post by **christybomb** » Jan 16 2005 10:32 pm

soapscum wrote:Just broke up with my girlfriend of 4+ yrs.....

so what is it single people do now days..... I have no interest in bars or meat market type places..... I shoudl probably focus on getting over the pain of the breakup before i do anything else.

Anyone have any good advice on how to get over it quicker?

being lied to really hurts. honesty hurts too sometimes, but not as much as being lied to.

Its painful to put yourself out there emotionally just to have your heart stepped on.

4 years, wow!!!!!!!!
sorry about this.. truly i am... isn't it weird how someone can be ur best dream only to become ur worst nightmare? the hurt is immeasurable.. no way to describe the pain...
for me, when i went through something similar, first i cried a lot. yea, maybe it's just a girl thing, but it really helps.. i also tried to keep myself busy with school and surrounded myself with friends.. cuz being alone is when u feel the pain the most. ever try goin to the gym to release some anger? it can be quite refreshing.. maybe go to the bookstore but try lookin at some of the SELF HELP books. they help to put things in perspective...
i know these are just words and may not help, but i've been in a similar situation and i know friends who have been as well.. being lied to is the WORST.. ultimate betrayal.. at least u found out now and not 20 yrs down the road??
i wish u the best! hang in there..

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Jan 17 2005 10:21 am

Find a girl that looks just like her and treat her like crap for a few weeks. That'll make you feel much better.

( I do not condone this method, but it is tried and true)

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Jan 17 2005 11:22 am

BrokeA$$Niki wrote:Find a girl that looks just like her and treat her like crap for a few weeks. That'll make you feel much better.

( I do not condone this method, but it is tried and true)

jen t · Post by **jen t** » Jan 17 2005 11:39 am

I'm with Niki. She has the right idea. I broke up with a girl that I was with for 3 years and its been a year since I broke up with her. If I had only used that approach I woulda been over it ALOT faster! HA HA HA!!!!

(hey its Monday. the love is all gone right now)

Marta · Post by **Marta** » Jan 17 2005 12:31 pm

2 wrongs dont make a right.I disagree (although it sounds funny) You take what she done and put it as a lesson for another girl that comes around. you can only get stronger when someone hurts you.

Angie · Post by **Angie** » Jan 17 2005 05:46 pm

soapscum wrote: so what is it single people do now days.....

Anyone have any good advice on how to get over it quicker?

I agree. Being lied too really sux. Especially when you've given all of yourself by that time. It'a a funny thing about long relationships, when they're done... you find yourself wondering why you wasted so much time w/ that person. But after awhile, you begin to realize that everything about that person will make you stronger in your next relationships. The next girl you care about will be that much better. You'll be able to pick up on crap in people that you might never had seen before. It's partially that whole "meant to be" thing. If someone really loves you, they don't lie to you. Plain and simple. Even if it's to spare your feelings.

So you ask... what do single people do? That's cool that you're first thought isn't... where can I go to get messed up and hook-up w/ some freaky deek. There's a million things for "single" people to do ya know. After all, we all are "single" people, we just choose to spend time w/ others. This is what I did when I became single after five years. I worked as best as I could at my job. I tried doing more w/ my family (My sister and I are very close) I've always been into going out to the clubs, so I went out by myself or with my friends. I spin records, so I put a LOT of time and energy into playing and promoting, which has really paid off. It's all a process, because everything reminds you of something, but I guess it just depends on how bad of a breakup you had.
Just focus on yourself. I don't know how old you are or what you're into, but you will see that when you do what you need to do for yourself, and stop trying to do it all for someone else, you will feel a million times better.
To get over it? Well, just get over it. If you had a good reason to break up, then just let it fly. Someday, when you find true love you will be thankful you weren't still w/ the g/f that did you wrong. Hope that helps a little. Take care.

deepfriedtwinkie · Post by **deepfriedtwinkie** » Jan 17 2005 06:00 pm

sorry about the breakup man-i was with a guy for 3+ years and broke up with him for lying(among other things

)-he ended up getting drunk and calling me at 4 in the morning to scream at me for any number of reasons...my point is i really loved him and it broke my heart that to this day we dont speak-but like angie said...this will only make you stronger and help you to realize what it is you want in another person-hang in there...it will work out

TOY CRUSHER · Post by **TOY CRUSHER** » Jan 17 2005 07:07 pm

Harness the energy. *woosah*

No, seriously, being lied to and finding out about it is ALOT worse than just hearing the truth. A wise woman once told me: "No matter how much you want people to be completely honest with you, they won't. Even if they claim to 'love' you." Simple, but true.

My personal philosophy: Not every person that comes into your life is meant for your benefit. Sometimes they're there to learn from you.

Remembering that has humbled me, seriously. I don't know how much this'll benefit you, but I hope it helps.

deepfriedtwinkie · Post by **deepfriedtwinkie** » Jan 18 2005 09:49 am

TOY CRUSHER wrote:
My personal philosophy: Not every person that comes into your life is meant for your benefit. Sometimes they're there to learn from you.

Remembering that has humbled me, seriously. I don't know how much this'll benefit you, but I hope it helps.

i like that a lot

soapscum · Post by **soapscum** » Jan 18 2005 10:15 am

Thanks for all the good advice and observations peeps.

I really thought i had everything i could reasonably want in this girl.

I'm 27, have my own house and all, but it hurts just being in an empty house. its weird how things that shoudl make you happy, just make you sad after a breakup.

----------------------------------------

I started going to parties(aka raves) when i was 15 in 1993, I should have known it wasnt meant to be with this girl, she didnt care for electronic music much. she was more of a punk/goth girl and i have a jaded old-school raver mindset. I don't drink at all(have my own vices), which i guess didnt help the relationship. She likes to drink and go out to bars and clubs, i grew out of that in the late 90s after Simons in gainesville started shutting down at 2am.

either way, 4yrs with someone, when you had no inclination of ever being with anyone else hurts when you break up. hopefully it does make me a better person in the long-run. and not more jaded. I have put my life on hold somewhat the last few years. maybe this is my chance to do something.

i've found i do get along pretty well with some of my ex's. particularly the ex-ravers. bleh. I have absolutely no interest in dating anyone anytime soon. though if i was to again someday, ithink a pre-req would be they have to have been an raver at heart. having a shared history might help.

E Nation Online :: gr00veboards ::

Single Life again.

Single Life again.

Re: Single Life again.

Re: Single Life again.

THanks peeps