Little Tony..... enjoy

[JamesDupree]

>>>>LITTLE TONY ON MATH
>>>>
>>>>A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
>>>>you
>>>>shoot one of them, how many will be left ?" She calls on little TONY.
>>>>
>>>>He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
>>>>
>>>>The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>>>>thinking."
>>>>
>>>>Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU."
>>>>
>>>>"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
>>>>delicately
>>>>licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is
>>>>gobbling
>>>>down the top and ! sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of
>>>>the
>>>>ice cream. Which one is married ?"
>>>>
>>>>The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
>>>>that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
>>>>
>>>>To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
>>>>wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>LITTLE TONY ON MATH
>>>>
>>>>Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
>>>>
>>>>"Why?" asks the father ?
>>>>
>>>>"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3,' " I said "6", replies TONY.
>>>>
>>>>"But that's right !" says his dad.
>>>>
>>>>"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much ! is 3x2 ?"
>>>>
>>>>"What's the fucking difference ?" asks the father.
>>>>
>>>>"That's what I said !"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
>>>>
>>>>Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
>>>>to
>>>>learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
>>>>multi-syllable word ?"
>>>>
>>>>TONY says, "Mas-tur-bate."
>>>>
>>>>Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
>>>>
>>>>Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Little TONY was sitting i! n class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to
>>>>go
>>>>to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss !!"
>>>>
>>>>The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in
>>>>this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please
>>>>use
>>>>the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to
>>>>go."
>>>>
>>>>Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if
>>>>you
>>>>had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN !"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
>>>>of
>>>>hands from those who could use ! the word "beautiful" in the same
>>>>sentence
>>>>twice.
>>>>
>>>>First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
>>>>bought
>>>>my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
>>>>
>>>>"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
>>>>Michael.
>>>>
>>>>"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
>>>>
>>>>She said, "Excellent, Michael !" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
>>>>little TONY.
>>>>
>>>>"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
>>>>pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful !'"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>LITTLE TONY ON ! GETTING OLDER
>>>>
>>>>Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
>>>>another.
>>>>After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you
>>>>know
>>>>eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot
>>>>your
>>>>teeth, and make you fat."
>>>>
>>>>Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
>>>>
>>>>The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time ?"
>>>>Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own fucking business."'

[DBK]

what an entertaining read

[Larz]

if i ever have a child, i will name him tony
good stuff

[Jville808]

rofl