in the new year

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dandmantra
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in the new year

Post by dandmantra »

I resolve to try harder to let God work in my life. I've been through so much over the last year and I continued to maintain the fantasy that I can be in control of everything that happens.

This past weekend I received an email from my mother that said she needed my assistance. It was an EMERGENCY. So, I dropped everything and drove two hours, south. There, I had no way to get in touch with her and I just sat and waited at my cousin's house until finally I got word that she was at a friends house, completely obliterated. Apparently, the man that she's been seeing and living with for the past few months is dying. She is completely emotional about the situation. This lies on top of the fact that she's barely able to form adult rationale when she's NOT suffering from emotional duress. So, I came to find out that the Emergency was just that she "needed someone". OK. Not really what I'd call an emergency. But, I will try to keep a clear head and do whatever it is that I'm there to do.
Through this situation of her boyfriend dying, his children are coming in and claiming possessions. They took the truck, which was my mother's only transportation. They are also telling her that she has about a week to move out of the house that she lives in. It was one of the most difficult situations that I've had to endure, telling this woman that BY LAW she is a resident of the house and does not have to move out until the ACTUAL LANDLORD says so. I asked her if she had a lease to the place. She said that there hadn't been a lease in quite some time. So, i took her to the hardware store and got replacements for all of the locks. Seemed like the most reasonable thing to do. The rent was paid through the month. So, she has every right to stay there. Convincing HER of this was quite the task. But, I think I achieved the goal.
At the end, it was time for me to drive home and she didn't want to sit at the house with my younger brother. She'd asked me to take her "somewhere and just drop her off". It was apparent to me, that this "somewhere" was "anywhere" that she could get drunk and forget her pain. So, I had to be strong and say that I absolutely WOULD NOT. It was difficult to do this. But, I can't be a party to her sick habits. I explained to her why I wasn't going to. In fact, I talked all day with her about the cause of what she's going through in her life. The faulty decisions that could have been a positive. I spoke about what she can do in the near future to save herself from being homeless and alone. I tried my best to get through. I spent two hours driving home last night in tears, playing it all out in my head. I can't hold onto this anymore.

I have to give it to God. I have to find a way to release the things in my life that hold me back from being a better person. At the same time, I want to make sure that I make the RIGHT AND HUMANE choices. I'm here to help out when I can. But, I need to keep my eyes open and be wary of when I've done all that i can do. I have to continue to respect God and His awesome power, and know that I can't control ANYTHING. I am powerless. I am an empty shell without the Holy Spirit to move me. The moves that I make on my own ALWAYS land me in a place that I don't need to be. So, I need to try harder. Or, maybe, I need to try a lot less. I suppose it depends on how you look at it.

I love you Mom.
I pray that you will make it through this ok.
God Bless you.
Thanks for all the shoes.
childers
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Post by childers »

....Dan my prayers are with you and your family. I lost my mom in june of 08,and this to everyone out there never take your family for granted no matter how good or bad the situation may be.

.....BTW don't ever take any of your loved ones to beaches baptist hospital,they infected my mom with ecoli during a routine operation. They have a history of cases in wrongful death. I have heard numerous horror stories since my mom passed.
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Post by Jason_Arclo »

it's deffinently good to see the lights are comming on, honestly the best way I've found to resolve issiues with parents is to just respect your elders, do what your told, but the older we get the more the reponsabiltiy shifts from your parents to you," being forgotton" is probly the worst feeling you can have, the way I deal with my parents is to just remember they've been dealing with all my bs since the day I was born, its only fair to be there for them as we grow up, if you want to help your mom dan I'd say that praying is probly your best option, take a step out on fatih and have a pray time with your mom even if it's just over the phone, I've had a few brothers from church pray with me and over me and I think that the evil cloud is breaking up, although I get extemly wild at times, the basic instints of beleiving in a higher authority, shuch as the pope always brings me back to the cross to remember that I am merly a peice of dust in the wind in the grand scheem of things, and it's important to take every oppurtunity we have to act on what is true and just... even if your the worst sinner ever the cross anchors us to reality and no one can take the love of christ away from you if you truley believe..
Sew In Tears, Reap In Cheers
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